Post by Annika~ on Jun 7, 2009 11:43:52 GMT -5
The most common type of an application that will not be accepted is a short kind. The characters can be well-developed, but that isn't shown very well though the length of the applications. Here's an example, using this site's application form:
Name:
Michelle Ampte
Age:
12
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
February 9th
Star Sign:
Aquarius (I think)
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
Straight
Special Quirks/Talents:
She can sing very well
Picture:
[insert image here]
Appearance:
Michelle has dark brown hair, gray eyes and pale skin. She is short for her age.
Personality:
Michelle is quiet and shy, but is very smart.
History:
Michelle was born in New York.
Pets (optional):
A cat, named Bunny.
Extras:
Nope.
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist.
As you can see, this application is far too short. There aren't very many complete sentences, and the character has potential to be well-developed and not a Sue, but this isn't shown in the application. Try adding details to your application, and try to make each part at least on paragraph long.
Another commonly unacceptable application is a classic Mary Sue. I apologize to all Twilight fans, but this is probably the best example of a classic Sue.
Name:
Isabella Marie Swan
Age:
18 (but she's a vampire so she's immortal)
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
September 13th, 1990
Star Sign:
Virgo (I think)
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
Straight~ She married Edward Cullen, you dummy! He's a boy!
Special Quirks/Talents:
She...uh...is really good at everything and is clumsy.
Picture:
Isn't she sooo hot??
Appearance:
Bella has dark, shiny brown hair that cascades down her back like a glistening waterfall. Since she is a vampire, she has glittering topaz eyes that are contrasting with her nearly translucent pale skin that is so pretty yadayadayada. She considers herself to be really average and ugly but Edward says she's sexyy. <3
Personality:
Bella is really clumsy and really smart and likes to read books. All the guys in the school really like her even though she isn't smart or nice or pretty or anything. (etc, etc.)
History:
(Insert Bella's history here. I don't want to write about it.)
Pets (optional):
She doesn't have a pet. If you don't count Jacob, the werewolf.
Extras:
Uh, she's a vampire and is married to Edward Cullen and has a baby named Renesmee.
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist.
Okay. See how Bella considers herself to be average, clumsy, and plain? Yet somehow, she ends up being the pure incarnation of beauty. Where's her personality? In the personality, it's talking about how she likes books and all the guys like her. That's no personality! If you make someone like this, you will be flogged.
A lot of people think that emo/goth characters aren't Sues. It depends. I'm going to give you an example of what you're NOT aiming for. (BTW, I have nothing against being emo, bi, or liking MCR, Good Charlotte or Green Day. I'm referencing a bad fanfic.)
Name:
Ebony/Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (she isn't related to Gerard Way but she wishes that cus he's smexy!!1)
Age:
17...roughly
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
Uh...
Star Sign:
Uh...
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
STRAIGHT U PREP but she wuz dating Draco 4 a while before she found out he was a bi.
Special Quirks/Talents:
She's good at all her classez in Hoggwarts!1 Just like her friend..uh.. B'loody Mary Granger. And she likes Good Charrlote and Greenday and MCR.
Picture:
Mur.
Appearance:
She has black hair (that's where she got her name Ebony) with red streaks and died (get it insted of dyed cus im goffik) porpule at the tips. And the wears red and blak nial polis with pentagramms on them. A lot of ppl tell her she looks like Amy Lee.
Personality:
Enoby HATES prepz and is goffik and <3s Drako. Thats about it.
History:
Enoby is a vampirea nd she sleeps iin a coughin and goos to hogwarts.
Pets (optional):
A bat? *shrug*
Extras:
She loeves Drako Malfoy. 8DDD
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor not a physsicist! (U PREP! WTH IS WITH THE STAR TREK REFERENECE!!1omgwrtehferjeroi)
Okay. Ebony/Enoby is shallow, not well developed, and pretty much a Mary Sue, despite the fact that she's goth/emo and a vampire who goes to Hogwarts and dates Draco Malfoy. Plus, the grammar sucks. XD
And finally, here's the kind of application you're aiming for.
Name:
Cora Montague
Age:
15
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
December 21st, 1994
Star Sign:
Sagittarius.
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
Straight.
Special Quirks/Talents:
She is a skilled pianist, and very good at mathematics.
Picture:
Here. It's a picture of Michelle Trachtenberg--only good picture I could find.
Appearance:
Cora has wavy, light brown hair that tends to grow frizzy if if doesn't get constant care. As a result, Cora usually wears makeup as well, just for self-confidence. She has light green eyes, and fairly pale skin.
Personality:
Cora is usually the one to let her heart rule her head. She's pretty smart but emotional, and cries easily. She enjoys playing the piano, because it can sometimes let her emotions out through the music. This is her biggest hobby, and she has performed in many piano competitions because of it. She's a bit of an outcast, and so that makes her lonely sometimes.
History:
Originally, Cora lived in Chicago, Illinois until she was 11 years old. Her parents had to transfer to Alabama for their new job, and so they had to move away. Cora was a bit excited for a change of scenery, but suddenly became lonely, and decided to take up piano in hopes to find a hobby and make new friends. She doesn't really like the competitive spirit of her fellow piano students, and it sometimes stresses her out a bit, but she has been living happily--most of the time--for four years.
Pets (optional):
None, her parents won't allow it.
Extras:
Nope.
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist.
See? This character is well-thought out, original, and has a solid personality. There's no story if a character can't hold her own!
So get your butts out there, and have fun!
Name:
Michelle Ampte
Age:
12
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
February 9th
Star Sign:
Aquarius (I think)
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
Straight
Special Quirks/Talents:
She can sing very well
Picture:
[insert image here]
Appearance:
Michelle has dark brown hair, gray eyes and pale skin. She is short for her age.
Personality:
Michelle is quiet and shy, but is very smart.
History:
Michelle was born in New York.
Pets (optional):
A cat, named Bunny.
Extras:
Nope.
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist.
As you can see, this application is far too short. There aren't very many complete sentences, and the character has potential to be well-developed and not a Sue, but this isn't shown in the application. Try adding details to your application, and try to make each part at least on paragraph long.
Another commonly unacceptable application is a classic Mary Sue. I apologize to all Twilight fans, but this is probably the best example of a classic Sue.
Name:
Isabella Marie Swan
Age:
18 (but she's a vampire so she's immortal)
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
September 13th, 1990
Star Sign:
Virgo (I think)
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
Straight~ She married Edward Cullen, you dummy! He's a boy!
Special Quirks/Talents:
She...uh...is really good at everything and is clumsy.
Picture:
Isn't she sooo hot??
Appearance:
Bella has dark, shiny brown hair that cascades down her back like a glistening waterfall. Since she is a vampire, she has glittering topaz eyes that are contrasting with her nearly translucent pale skin that is so pretty yadayadayada. She considers herself to be really average and ugly but Edward says she's sexyy. <3
Personality:
Bella is really clumsy and really smart and likes to read books. All the guys in the school really like her even though she isn't smart or nice or pretty or anything. (etc, etc.)
History:
(Insert Bella's history here. I don't want to write about it.)
Pets (optional):
She doesn't have a pet. If you don't count Jacob, the werewolf.
Extras:
Uh, she's a vampire and is married to Edward Cullen and has a baby named Renesmee.
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist.
Okay. See how Bella considers herself to be average, clumsy, and plain? Yet somehow, she ends up being the pure incarnation of beauty. Where's her personality? In the personality, it's talking about how she likes books and all the guys like her. That's no personality! If you make someone like this, you will be flogged.
A lot of people think that emo/goth characters aren't Sues. It depends. I'm going to give you an example of what you're NOT aiming for. (BTW, I have nothing against being emo, bi, or liking MCR, Good Charlotte or Green Day. I'm referencing a bad fanfic.)
Name:
Ebony/Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (she isn't related to Gerard Way but she wishes that cus he's smexy!!1)
Age:
17...roughly
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
Uh...
Star Sign:
Uh...
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
STRAIGHT U PREP but she wuz dating Draco 4 a while before she found out he was a bi.
Special Quirks/Talents:
She's good at all her classez in Hoggwarts!1 Just like her friend..uh.. B'loody Mary Granger. And she likes Good Charrlote and Greenday and MCR.
Picture:
Mur.
Appearance:
She has black hair (that's where she got her name Ebony) with red streaks and died (get it insted of dyed cus im goffik) porpule at the tips. And the wears red and blak nial polis with pentagramms on them. A lot of ppl tell her she looks like Amy Lee.
Personality:
Enoby HATES prepz and is goffik and <3s Drako. Thats about it.
History:
Enoby is a vampirea nd she sleeps iin a coughin and goos to hogwarts.
Pets (optional):
A bat? *shrug*
Extras:
She loeves Drako Malfoy. 8DDD
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor not a physsicist! (U PREP! WTH IS WITH THE STAR TREK REFERENECE!!1omgwrtehferjeroi)
Okay. Ebony/Enoby is shallow, not well developed, and pretty much a Mary Sue, despite the fact that she's goth/emo and a vampire who goes to Hogwarts and dates Draco Malfoy. Plus, the grammar sucks. XD
And finally, here's the kind of application you're aiming for.
Name:
Cora Montague
Age:
15
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
December 21st, 1994
Star Sign:
Sagittarius.
Sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc):
Straight.
Special Quirks/Talents:
She is a skilled pianist, and very good at mathematics.
Picture:
Here. It's a picture of Michelle Trachtenberg--only good picture I could find.
Appearance:
Cora has wavy, light brown hair that tends to grow frizzy if if doesn't get constant care. As a result, Cora usually wears makeup as well, just for self-confidence. She has light green eyes, and fairly pale skin.
Personality:
Cora is usually the one to let her heart rule her head. She's pretty smart but emotional, and cries easily. She enjoys playing the piano, because it can sometimes let her emotions out through the music. This is her biggest hobby, and she has performed in many piano competitions because of it. She's a bit of an outcast, and so that makes her lonely sometimes.
History:
Originally, Cora lived in Chicago, Illinois until she was 11 years old. Her parents had to transfer to Alabama for their new job, and so they had to move away. Cora was a bit excited for a change of scenery, but suddenly became lonely, and decided to take up piano in hopes to find a hobby and make new friends. She doesn't really like the competitive spirit of her fellow piano students, and it sometimes stresses her out a bit, but she has been living happily--most of the time--for four years.
Pets (optional):
None, her parents won't allow it.
Extras:
Nope.
Code Word:
Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist.
See? This character is well-thought out, original, and has a solid personality. There's no story if a character can't hold her own!
So get your butts out there, and have fun!
